Princesses don't give blow jobs
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
