she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
