Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
