3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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