There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
