i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Randomize
