we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
