Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
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