I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
