What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
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