I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
