so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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