Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
