I wannas sexs uuuuu
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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