why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
