I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Randomize
