go do what you do best...puke behind churches
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
