I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
