I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
