I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
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