mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
