i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
