Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
i just google imaged poop.
We need to rekindle our bromance
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
