peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
