so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I think I am morally bankrupt
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
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