We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
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