He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
