I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
