I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Randomize
