people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
A bitchslap is in order.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
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