Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Randomize
