I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
