Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
he puts the penis in happiness.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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