Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
