K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
