I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Go christen that room with your naked body.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
