He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
