yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
