when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
