I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize