we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
