): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
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