In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
you had me at cake vodka
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
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