It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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