Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Randomize