I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
