what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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