I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Randomize
