Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
