it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
