You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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