he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Randomize