How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
