Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
