So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
