i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize