dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
