i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
