you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
this just has baby written all over it
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I need moral support for this bender
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
