I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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